Fantom of the Phactory
by x.X.Bex.X.x
Summary: What happens when you cross Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and The Phantom of the Opera? Gosh, this is so dorkish! Review please!


**The Fantom of the Phactory**

**Now, I know that this can't have been done before. It is just too weird! Well, just read it. I was hyper and blonde when I wrote it, hence it shall be strange. Read and Review! (sorry about any spelling errors, spell check is broken)**

Snow fell softly upon the roof of the Daae cottage. It was a humble home, barely standing straight and with hardly any insulation, but it was perfect for those who lived there. Who lived there? Gustave Daae, Swedish violinist and his daughter Christine. They would spend their evenings telling stories in front of the fire, simply enjoying the bond between father and daughter. And then, one such evening, Gustave suddenly died. It was a heart attack brought on by stress and lack of healthy food. Christine was of course devasted and did not know what to do. Being only 16 years old there wasn't really much that she could do. Fortunately for her, her father's friend Ms. Giry, toook her in at her home near the largest factory in all of England; the Wonka Chocolate Factory.

- - -

Meanwhile, on the other side of town lived a family by the name of Bucket. No, it was not pronounced buh-kit, but instead it was pronounced boo-kay, like flowers. There was a mum, a dad, Grandpa Joe, Grandma Josephine, Grandpa George, and Grandma Georgina, and the little boy named Charlie. Their home was even more run down than the Daae cottage. This little house was tilting, and there was a hole in the roof. Luckily though, this family was a humble one and did not mind. One fine evening, as young Charlie was skipping home from his job as a paper boy, he passed a poster on a post that read:

**ATTENTION PEOPLE!**

**I, Willy Wonka, am letting 5 lil' children into my factory on February 1. If you find a golden ticket in your Wonka chocolate bar, then you are one of the children that gets to get into my factory! Remember, there are only 5 tickets so go out and get some chocolate!**

**Sincerely,**

_**Willy Wonka**_

Charlie gasped, clicked his heels, and ran all the way home, only tripping over his raggedy shoelaces once. He burst in through the door of his house and jumped up onto the bed that his four grandparents shared.

"The most wonderful thing has just been announced!" he shouted.

"I love grapes," said Grandma Georgina. "Don't you?"

"Yes Grandma Georgina, but that isn't what I wanted to say," Charlie said. "Willy Wonka is holding a contest that will allow 5 children into his factory!"

"Charlie that is wonderful!" said his mother from in the kitchen. "Maybe you will find the golden ticket in your birthday chocolate bar!"

"Mum," Charlie said, "my birthday was two weeks ago."

"So..."

"The contest ends at the end of this month."

"And..."

"And, if I did find a golden ticket in my birthday chocolate bar it would be expired," he said, rolling his eyes.

"I like grapes!" Grandma Georgina called from across the room.

"Yes Grandma, we know," Charlie said. "Where's dad at?"

"Your father is out finding a new job. The folks at the toothpaste factory 'gave him the slip' if ya know what I'm saying, eh? Eh?" she grunted, and nudged Charlie. He stared at her. "Sorry," she said. "Well, go wash up now; dinner's ready soon."

Charlie ran off to wash up, while his mother fixed dinner.

- - -

"Christine!" snapped Ms. Giry. Christine had just run into the house and left the door wide open. "Were you born in a bloody barn, or what?"

"Actually, I was, but that is beside the point," said Christine. "What I burst in here so forcefully for was to announce that I found a golden ticket!"

"A golden ticket? What on earth is that?" asked the woman, braiding the hair of her daughter Meg.

"It's something that Mr. Willy Wonka stuck in his chocolate bars. It's a contest; the 5 winners get to take a peek at the treasures behind his gates." She flapped the golden paper around excitedly. "I get to take one person with me, by the way."

"Oh Christine! Take me, take me, take me!" shouted Meg.

"No, take me!" shouted Ms. Giry.

"No," said a mannish voice out of nowhere. "Take me." Suddenly, Raoul De Changy appeared from behind a wardrobe. He flipped his head, and in true shampoo commercial fashion his hair rippled in shiny waves and his teeth gleamed.

"I believe I shall take Raoul. Sorry Girys'," Christine said, jumping into his arms. He smiled at her and they kissed.

- - -

Meanwhile, in the factory...

"La-la-l-l-l-la-la-la," said Willy Wonka to an Oompa Loompa. This, when translated, meant: "Are the dancing and singing puppets ready for the children?"

The Oompa Loompa nodded and then beat his chest and ran away. Willy Wonka wandered around his edible room and finally chose a spot to sit beneath a large tree that was made of sugar. He sighed. This was the first time in years that any outside people would be in his factory. He was just about to pick a chocolatey fruit off of the tree when he heard a strange sound. "Hmm, I wonder what that could be," he said, rubbing his latex gloves together. He followed the sound to a wall. "This is really weird." He tapped on the wall three times, and it suddenly swung open. "Ooh."

He stepped into the wall and walked down a looooooong set of chocolate stairs. As he went, he hummed a new song that the Oompa Loompas had written for when the children came tomorrow, "Augustus Gloop...". Soon, he came to a door, one that said: "SECRET LAIR" over the top of it. "Ooh, I've never seen this door before. Ha. That rhymed." He giggled a bit, and opened it up.

What he found was somewhat shocking. A man, with a mask on the right side of his face, sat at a large chocolate and marshmallow organ playing a tune. "Hello," said Willy, making a sound with his latex gloves.

"Good Evening Mr. Wonka," said the masked man. "I welcome you to this kingdom where all must pay homage to music...music."

Willy Wonka blinked several times and his face twitched. "You're really weird."

"As are you," said the man. "I am Erik, the Phantom of this Factory. I heard that you are having 5 children come here for a tour tomorrow. I just wanted to ask if I may take one under my wing - er - cape, and tutor them in the fine art of singing."

"Yeah," said Willy, "That'd be fine. You can have the little English girl if you like. She's kinda too old for this anyways."

"Good," said Erik, and then went off into a diabolical fit of laughter.

Willy Wonka smiled, and then left, shutting the door behind him. Under his breath he said, "Let's Boogie."

- - -

"PLEASE ENTER!" said the whimsical voice of Willy Wonka over the speakers. The gates opened, and 10 people walked in. There was: Christine Daae and Raoul De Changy, Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe, Veruca Salt and her father Mr. Salt, Mike TeeVee and his father, and Augustus Gloop and his mother. They walked in and stood in front of the steps to wait for the man himself: Willy Wonka.

- - -

Meanwhile, inside the factory and on the other side of the doors, Willy Wonka pushed the big blue button that would start up the singing puppets. This was his favourite part. He quickly rushed out to stand with the children. He hummed along, and did a little Willy jig to the music. Then, it all exploded. But it was alright because it was just fire. Everyone looked at him so he said the only thing that came to mind, "Good morning Starshine, the Earth says hello!"

"Pardon me?" said Mr. Salt.

"Uh...ahem," said Willy. "Welcome to my factory." He turned awkwardly and pointed to the factory that was behind him. He too turned around and realized that it wasn't the chocolate factory at all. They were standing in front of theorgan factory. "Oh," he said, and snatched a golden ticket away from one of the children. "Silly me, I put the wrong address on the tickets. My factory is next door." With a purple latex finger he pointed to the factory across the street, and then led them to it.

He unlocked the front door and led them all inside. "Please, just leave your coats on the floor." They headed down the red carpeted hallway to a teeny weeny door. "Welcome to my factory everybody!" he said, and let them into the large candy-filled room.

"Wow," said Charlie.

"Amazing," said Grandpa Joe.

"Chocolate!" said Augustus Gloop.

"Control yourself," said Mrs. Gloop.

"Ooh," said Christine.

"Aah," said Raoul.

"I like grapes," said Grandma Georgina. (She of course wasn't in the factory with the rest. In fact, she was tucked at home in her bed, all snug and warm. She just felt like saying it again because she likes grapes.)


End file.
